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Transcript

What If Misogyny Isn’t What You Think It Is—And That’s Exactly How It Keeps Winning?

We’ve all seen it: the bold headlines, the viral threads, the performative pledges.
“Support women.”
“Smash the patriarchy.”
“Believe survivors.”

But even as this language saturates our feeds and boardrooms, something persists beneath the surface—quiet, shape-shifting, and deeply embedded.
And here’s the part that doesn’t get said enough:

Misogyny doesn’t require hate to survive. It just needs silence, comfort, and complicity.

So what if misogyny isn’t just about violent men and bad behavior?
What if it’s about the systems we unconsciously uphold, the ways we police ourselves and each other, and the deep conditioning we rarely interrogate?

Whether you’re new to this conversation or years deep in the work, let’s stretch together—not through shame, but through clarity.


If You’re Just Entering This Work:

Welcome. This isn’t about blaming you.
It’s about helping you see what most systems have worked hard to keep invisible.

And If You’ve Been Doing Justice Work for Years:

This is your reminder that misogyny survives even in progressive spaces—especially when it hides in good intentions, ally branding, and “wokeness.”


Misogyny Isn’t Just Hatred—It’s a System of Discipline

We’re taught that misogyny means “men hating women.” But that’s surface-level. Misogyny is a regulatory system designed to:

  • reward conformity to patriarchal expectations,

  • punish deviation from them, and

  • maintain power in the hands of those already favored by race, gender, ability, and class.

It isn’t always loud.
It shows up in:

  • who gets interrupted.

  • who is expected to take notes.

  • who is called “too much” for asking questions or taking up space.

If you’re newer to this:
Start paying attention to what is labeled “professional,” “likeable,” or “good.” Who gets rewarded for those things? Who gets punished for breaking them?

If you’ve been here awhile:
Ask yourself where you’ve been quiet to stay safe. Where have you adapted instead of dismantled? And where might internalized patriarchy still be setting the terms of your leadership, language, or relationships?


This Is Why People Feel Tired—And Why It's Not a Personal Failing

Let’s name what so many people—especially women, femmes, and nonbinary folks—are feeling: exhaustion. Not just from what they carry, but from how little actually shifts.

We’re living in a culture that’s information-rich but integration-starved.
People know the language—but still feel stuck.
They’ve read the books, joined the discussions, but find themselves shrinking, code-switching, burning out.

If you’re just discovering this: It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong. It’s that you’re operating in systems designed to extract, silence, and exhaust you.

If you’ve been on this path: Maybe your exhaustion isn’t from lack of clarity—but from knowing exactly what’s wrong and feeling like you can’t say it out loud. That’s misogyny, too.


Why I Teach Communication, Leadership, and Power as a Trinity

Misogyny doesn’t just shape how we’re treated—it shapes how we speak, lead, and relate.
It shows up in:

  • how we downplay our truth to protect someone else’s ego.

  • how we over-explain to be “palatable.”

  • how power is hoarded, or handed off, instead of held collectively.

This is why I don’t teach leadership, communication, or power as separate skills.

I teach them as systems braided together.
Because when one is colonized, all three are distorted.

If you’re new to this:
Your words, leadership, and voice are already powerful. The work is learning how they were shaped—and what they’re still serving.

If you’ve been deep in this work:
Let’s ask: have our strategies for survival become our ceilings for liberation?


This Isn’t About “Fixing” Yourself—It’s About Reclaiming What Patriarchy Took

Patriarchy teaches us to:

  • shrink in order to stay safe,

  • speak in ways that don’t make others uncomfortable,

  • lead without disrupting the systems that hurt us.

But that’s not leadership—it’s containment.

I don’t offer shallow strategies or checklist DEI.
I offer containers for integration, liberation, and realignment.
I work with leaders and teams who are ready to move from performance to embodiment.
From allyship to accountability.
From endurance to clarity.


Closing: For Those Ready to Build Differently

If you feel like you’re carrying too much, saying too little, and still being asked to do more—this is your sign.
You don’t need to do more.
You need to be in spaces that actually honor your truth.

The systems are cracking. Let’s not smooth them over.
Let’s reimagine what gets built in their place!

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