They Say It’s About You—But Is It Really?
How to make aligned decisions without outsourcing your truth
When someone says,
“This is all about you…”
pause.
Listen.
And ask yourself:
Are they really focused on you… or on you using their system?
One of the things I do professionally is relational practice—the deliberate construction, co-creation, and tending of purpose-driven relationships.
This isn’t just about “networking” or “collaboration.” It’s about building containers that hold:
mutual respect
trust
feedback
accountability
and reciprocity
I’ve taught these principles to organizations, leaders, and community builders for years.
But for a long time, even with that knowledge, I still found myself entangled in relationships—professional and personal—that left me drained, disoriented, or dismissed.
Why?
Because I hadn’t realized something:
There was another program running.
Not in my schedule—but in my subconscious.
A survival logic. An inherited script.
One that said:
“If you want to be safe, useful, loved… you better make yourself fit.”
Even with all the skills, I hadn’t yet healed the inner system that said:
Your value is tied to how well you adapt to other people’s needs—even if it costs you your own clarity.
This is what I want you to know:
We can know all the frameworks.
We can be trained in the best tools.
We can mentor others and still miss the places where our old survival patterns override our current wisdom.
So next time someone tells you,
“This is designed for people like you.”
Ask yourself:
Does this feel like resonance or manipulation?
Do they really see me, or do they want me to mirror them?
Is this relationship building me—or absorbing me?
I’m here for those asking better questions.
If you’re starting to hear your inner truth louder than someone else’s polished pitch...
If you’ve outgrown systems that ask for your compliance but not your voice...
If you’re learning to center relational trust as the foundation of your growth…
I’m building something for you.
Raise your hand (privately or publicly).
I see you. And I trust your voice—even when it’s still finding its shape.
Ask Yourself
If your first instinct is to collect questions or frameworks to ‘fix’ this—pause.
That’s the mind trying to manage something your body hasn’t even acknowledged yet.”“I’m not here to offer you tidy questions. I’m here to help you sit with the discomfort long enough for your real work to emerge.”
“This isn’t about what you know. It’s about what your nervous system still believes.”
“Until you feel safe enough to hold joy, your system will reject it. No worksheet can interrupt that. Only embodied awareness and relational repair.
Our Reminder
Let this be the reminder—for you, for me, for all of us: this is where the work sits.
Not in the theories.
Not in the frameworks.
But in the sacred, messy, deeply human practice of learning to be in real relationship with one another.
That is the core foundation of true community.
And if we are living in a world that feels fractured, isolated, or impossible to move in—it’s because we’ve forgotten how to build and hold community that heals, not consumes.
This is the work right now.
Not someday. Not after the next training. Now.
Learning how to co-create spaces where we are transformed by connection, challenged by honesty, and committed to showing up differently.
When we do that—really do it—we reclaim our power, and we create new experiences of what’s possible.
But until we do, corrupt power will keep winning, not because it's stronger, but because we haven’t yet learned how to hold ours—together.